Blue Spider's Coffee House

Truth, Love, Beauty and all things Virtuous


Love and Family


This quote came to me from an email sent to me from my brother. The timing of it coming on the heels of the recent election cycle and the coming holiday season motivated me to include it here. This is from Marvin J. Ashton, given in a 1992 LDS Conference speech.

“Charity is, perhaps, in many ways a misunderstood word. We often equate charity with visiting the sick, taking in casseroles to those in need, or sharing our excess with those who are less fortunate. But really, true charity is much, much more.
Real charity is not something you give away; it is something that you acquire and make a part of yourself. And when the virtue of charity becomes implanted in your heart, you are never the same again. It makes the thought of being a basher repulsive.
Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other.
None of us need one more person bashing or pointing out where we have failed or fallen short. Most of us are already well aware of the areas in which we are weak. What each of us does need is family, friends, employers, and brothers and sisters who support us, who have the patience to teach us, who believe in us, and who believe we’re trying to do the best we can, in spite of our weaknesses. What ever happened to giving each other the benefit of the doubt? What ever happened to hoping that another person would succeed or achieve? What ever happened to rooting for each other?”

On Love

Love is orderly. Love needs a strong structure to survive for the long run or for that matter to survive at all. However, love prospers in an environment where the freedom of thought, the freedom to search for truth and happiness exists, or in other words personal growth is allowed to take place. Love is not a fleeting fancy or a selfish satisfaction like lust or infatuation. Love is unselfish and concerns itself with self-control but utmost its concerned about the spiritual well-being and spiritual growth of others.

Love is not about caving in to a desire or satisfying a pleasure. Love is not an addiction. Love is not sex and sex is not love. This counterfeit definition and fugacious practice only leads to dysfunction, insecurity, broken hearts, and broken families and unhappiness. Love has a natural order it follows and boundaries it respects. Love itself is the composite of all other virtues and does not trample lesser virtues or eternal order or individual freedom to exists. You cannot trample honesty and loyalty and or the eternal union of the family structure and call that emotion true love. Love is an interconnected private and public commodity and individually we cannot see all the consequences, the ripple effect, of ignoring its rules. However, ignoring it rules is something that we can all witness socially as we see public contention, public confusion and a lack of public order on the rise and we all can say something is amiss in our society. The lack of love in a society, nevertheless, is not something that money or clever social engineering can fix.

Love cannot be created by man-made wealth or rules nor can the lack of love be remedied by governments or social programs or be redefined by special interest groups or the lawyers. Love is literally not of this world, but is of the eternities.

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