Blue Spider's Coffee House

Truth, Love, Beauty and all things Virtuous


July 2014

The Problem with Trials: Confronting The Monster

cute furry alien

The problem with trials is that they show us a picture of ourselves that is not always flattering. They show us that our demons, our monsters were only dormant for a season. They did not go away when life was good. And what a selfish demon insecurity can be! The fear of having people know you has a bluster, a bluff, an empty show, even though that is not really the case can make one quite the whiner, the gossip and the finger pointer. It’s not me, it’s them dragging my ship down, we cry. If only so and so would pull their weight or only if this or that hadn’t happened. Geez, I tire of myself when I am this way. It would be better for me to say “only if I could be braver and bolder” when facing my trials.

Although, I’ve improved my disposition when trials come my way and no longer create all kinds of madness and drama when things become difficult and don’t go my way. I still see my impatience and flash anger desperately wanting to set themselves free to reveal my uglier and more miserable self and show the world that all my pretensions at patience, long-suffering, and understanding are one big fraud. How quickly I forget that giving into the impatience and anger is only going to make me and those around me more miserable and there would not be any long-term satisfaction in giving into my demons and letting them rue the day. I know from sad experience that giving into my emotions as a solution to my problems, as the world counsels, is just another fairy tale. Anger and words used during fits of rage do cause damage.

Don’t get me wrong, I ain’t no saint when it comes to giving into my better side. I am still hit and miss, but I don’t miss as much as I used to. Nevertheless, it’s always startling to see just how insecure I can be when things become tough. Dang! what happened to that supposed faith in the spiritual order of things where kindness, patience, charity, understanding and long-suffering matter forever and forever. It’s bad enough I put all this blabbering to paper, imagine having to be wife and listen to all the whining. Now there’s a saint, if there ever was one.

ManKind: The Light and The Darkness

“Thus the natural man cuts himself off from the light and then complains about the darkness”–Neal A. Maxwell

Rivers of Babylon

Beautiful child smelling rose

When we plant a rose seed in the earth, we notice that it is small, but we do not criticize it as “rootless and stemless.” We treat it as a seed, giving it the water and nourishment required of a seed. When it first shoots up out of the earth, we don’t condemn it as immature and underdeveloped; nor do we criticize the buds for not being open when they appear. We stand in wonder at the process taking place and give the plant the care it needs at each stage of its development. The rose is a rose from the time it is a seed to the time it dies. Within it, at all times, it contains its whole potential. It seems to be constantly in the process of change; yet at each state, at each moment, it is perfectly all right as it is. [W. Timothy Gallwey, The Inner Game of Tennis (New York: Random House, 1974), p. 37]

Gettin’ Me Some Character and Mr. Immanuel Kant


Since I lack quite a bit in character, I thought quotes these would be a good start on gettin’ some character and gettin’ me in the right direction after all these years of misdirection.

While intellect may be a gift of God or ancestral pedigree, our character is man-made and the fruit of personal exertion…Our character is produced from the crucible of human experience. The forging process removes impurities and tempers and shapes us so that we might realize the measure of our creation.”

-J. Richard Clarke

No doubt it is a good and desirable thing to have intelligence, sagacity, judgment, and other intellectual gifts, by whatever name they may be called; it is also good and desirable in many respects to possess by nature such qualities as courage, resolution, and perseverance, but all these gifts of nature may be in the highest degree pernicious and hurtful if the will which directs them, or what is called character is not itself good.

-Immanuel Kant

Shakespeare on Items at a Deep Discount and Those Items Not for Sale

grapes on the vine

What win I if I gain the thing I seek?
A dream, a breath, a froth of fleeting joy.
Who buys a minute’s mirth to wail a week?
Or sells eternity to get a toy?
For one sweet grape who will the vine destroy?

-The Rape of Lucrece, Shakespeare, Lines 211-215

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